How to Get Out of Your Over-Active Mind
“We think too much and feel too little.”
- Charlie Chaplin
Here is what is so awesome about the breath:
It serves as a bridge that connects body and mind.
🌬 When I do my daily Breathwork practice, the breath grounds me in by body, it centers me. It slows down my mind activity, it calms my nervous system. The less I think, the more I can be present in my body and feel life, the less I'm in the past or the future.
💨 And during a deep Breathwork journey, conscious connected breathing helps me come back into my emotional world to process and release.
Breathwork journeys give us a safe space to feel, especially when done with a facilitator.
As I was going through a tough breakup a while back, the medicine of my own breath helped me to actually work through and with my emotions rather than get stuck in them.
When we go through painful experiences, it's too easy to loose ourselves in the stories our ego minds tell us. It's too easy to not dig deeper. Breathwork opens up the space to connect to the younger parts of ourselves that were already wounded a long time ago, that had to shut down their pain and needs, that never got the chance to be seen and healed.
We can use Breathwork as an emotional workout to release emotional and energetic charge that we haven’t processed or taken the time to process.
We can clear emotional conditioning in the body so we can connect to what’s underneath.
What's underneath? Our intuition. Joy and peace. The magic of life.
Think less, breathe more, feel more.
🐋
PS: I am starting a free Breathwork newsletter! 💌
It will serve as your regular dose of science-based insights for emotional healing, better health and performance using the power of the breath.
First edition goes out this week. Sign up here!
(This is atomic essay #18, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
How to Create Your Heart Out (And Unleash Your Inner Creative Badass)
For the longest time, I never thought I was a creative human being. I never had any confidence in my own creativity.
Until I started creating - a lot.
And sucking - a lot.
In the beginning of my early blogging days in 2011, I was writing non-stop whenever I could while I was working a 9-5 job. I published 4-5 blogposts a week.
When I started Instagram more seriously years ago now, I was taking photos, writing captions and publishing daily.
When I embarked on my YouTube journey, I kicked it off with a 30 day video challenge and have done several more over the years. It helped me learn so quickly.
I am currently dedicating myself to writing and creating guided breathwork meditations (which, it turns out, is an art in itself). Every day, I write, I learn, I create.
They say, if you want quality, start with quantity. I fully stand behind that.
It is also the secret of success of most amazing and big creators and artists out there.
But not the only one.
I believe we can all unleash our inner creative badass. Every human being is a creative being by nature - we ALL have a second energy center that holds our creative power.
Keep creating your heart out.
(This is atomic essay #18, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
How To Find Your Own Unique Voice
You won‘t find it by just thinking about it. You won‘t find it by consuming a lot of other people‘s content. You won’t find it by hiding your creations.
Here is how to find your voice:
You find it by using it. A lot.
You find it by creating. A lot.
You find it by writing every day. Or by taking a shit ton of photos or shooting and editing loads of videos. Or by making lots and lots of music. You find it by doing the very thing that you want to develop into YOUR thing.
You find it by ignoring perfection. You find it by experimenting and trying out loads of stuff and different ways of doing something.
You find it by taking the risk of making something bad - and making it anyway, because making something is better than not making something at all.
You also find your voice by putting yourself out there and receiving feedback. You find it by facing your fears of judgement.
It might take months and years, but you only develop confidence as you create and make stuff over and over and over again.
That‘s how I found my voice. And I keep rediscovering it and exploring it and doubting it and feeling insecure about it. And then I go out and use it some more, create more stuff, write more, make more videos - and there it is again.
Your voice is unique. 7.5 billion people and not one other human has your mind, your eyes and your voice.
Go use it.
(This is atomic essay #17, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
Self-Awareness for Creators 101
Self-awareness is at the core of a truly authentic and powerful creator.
„In order to have self-expression, we must first have a self to express.“ - Julia Cameron
Meaning, figure out who you really are. Look yourself in the eye and in your soul. Become acquainted with your shadows, fears and programming. Connect to yourself in meditation and in solitude. Journal your heart out. Expand your comfort zone.
Stop distracting yourself with your work and buying courses and Netflix and social media and being busy and people and events and sex and relationships and new shiny objects and problems and complaining.
Instead, just face yourself and the depths of who you are.
Self-awareness is the essence of a truly authentic and powerful creator.
Your work is only as authentic and impactful as your level of self-awareness. Your creativity, your work and your business will always reflect your level of self-awareness and personal development.
The more you know yourself, the more impact you can make outside of yourself.
When you know your values, you can then align your work, your mission and vision with who you are and what truly matters to you.
When you are more aware, mindful and in contact with your body and its signals, you will decrease the likelihood of burning yourself out (something many of us creators do).
As creators in public, we have a responsibly. Our ways of being and energies touch anyone we get in contact with, anyone that consumes and receives our work and ideas.
If you BS yourself, you BS everyone around you.
If you hide from yourself, you hide from the world.
(This is atomic essay #16, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
The Stages of the Creator’s Journey
The phases of big projects are so predicable, and yet they always seem surprising at first:
First, the idea arrives as a seed. It latches on somewhere in my brain where ideas about the idea attach to it. It marinates and brews. The seed grows until I get the calling, this clear intuitive feeling that I actually have to pursue the idea and do something with it.
So I sit down and visualize the idea on paper. I plan it out. I brainstorm and get all my thoughts down. It turns into a project.
In the process I slowly fall in love with the idea even more.
It starts to feel like a Hell Yeah.
I begin to work on it. And as I do, the little idea turns into something bigger than I had planned.
I roll with it.
It gets bigger as more ideas abound and the projects grows.
Then I hit a dip. Some doubts arise about the setup, the structure, the organization of my ideas.
I shuffle things around. And again.
I intimidate myself by the scope of the project and start to procrastinate.
What I do to get out of this dilemma and create accountability:
I create a 'realistic' project timeline and set a public deadline or launch date
I share my progress on the project on social media
I create an opt-in page or pre-order page to make the project more real and build an interest list
Now that people know about it, I commit to working on the project daily.
I eventually hit another wall as I am approaching the finish line. I doubt the whole thing and want to shut it all down (which might also be triggered by my pre-menstrual phase).
Synchronicities happen or the universe sends me messages that make it clear: you have got to keep going and finish this thing. I follow its orders.
I dabble along and make noticeable, but little progress to keep stretching out the time until I actually don't have anything on my to-do list anymore for the project and I am forced to release it to the public.
Just before I do, my mind is scared that no one will buy it and even if people do, they won't like it.
I ignore the voices and launch the thing.
Hello, world. Here is my medicine for you.
Working on something for a while and then putting it out there is a scary undertaking and a very vulnerable act. There were times when I wanted to just let it all be and not finish a 95% finished course project. Crazy if you think about it rationally - but totally acceptable in the world of a terrified mind.
I have created and released a lot of products and projects in the last ten years. And yet - the process with all its ups and downs usually always follows the same journey and the fears are usually always the same usual suspects. No surprises there.
I keep going anyway, because I trust that my fears are only my compass and pointing in the direction of my calling.
(This is atomic essay #15, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
How to Make the Unconscious Conscious
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
— Carl Jung
Here is what this quote really means:
We think that the totality of our being is our conscious mind.
But much of ourselves and our behavioral patterns are contained in the unconscious.
The unconscious is the source of most of our thoughts, feelings and behavior. These are parts that are hidden form our conscious view.
Dreams, visions and synchronicities are some of the main ways our unconscious talks to us.
We have to learn how to access it and become receptive to its messages in order to become conscious, complete and whole human beings. We have to dig into the depth of our unconscious to make lasting change, overcome recurring challenges, reprogram our patterns, and heal trauma.
Most of us are so out of touch with our inner world that we only encounter the unconscious when we get in trouble with it: inexplicable conflicts, recurring unhealthy patterns in relationships, irrational or destructive urges, addictions, depression, anger issues...
When we ignore it, our unconscious speaks to us through mental illness and chronic disease. It keeps forcing itself back into our lives through inner conflicts, neurosis and psychological symptoms to get our attention.
The Western perspective likes to think we are fully conscious human beings and in control of our decisions and behavior. Most people never explore all the rooms in their inner castle and approach the hidden parts of their psyche.
But, the unconscious mind is not merely an appendage of the conscious mind.
It is out of the raw material of the unconscious that our conscious minds develop, mature and expand.
The conscious mind is like a cork bobbing in the enormous ocean of the unconscious. The conscious mind is the tip of the ice berg, and 95% of the ice berg is hidden under water, which makes up the unconscious - it might be out of sight, but it is enormously powerful. It is running the show from below. The part of the psyche that is hidden in the unconscious mind is much greater than the conscious mind and much more powerful.
The modern world has split off the conscious mind from the roots in the unconscious. We have lost forms of interactions with the unconscious that nourished our ancestors - like dreams, visions, rituals or religious experience and ceremonies
We act is though there is no unconscious, no realm of the soul, as though we could live full lives by fixating ourselves completely on the external, material world.
It is by exploring and making the unconscious conscious that enables us to realize the full potential that is built into us, find true inner healing and make lasting changes.
When we do things like Breathwork, plant medicine ceremonies or dream analysis we get access to our unconscious parts of our psyche. We can then gain insight into the conflict and challenges that our lives present and find the strength and resources that wait to be discovered there.
Know thyself really means going deep into the castle, into the ice berg, into the vast ocean. It's a brave expedition, but it’s what it means to really live a conscious life.
(This is atomic essay #14, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
What I Wish I Knew When I Started Writing + Blogging
I started writing and blogging in 2011.
Here is what I wish someone had told me then:
1. Write morning pages to clean the pipes.
2. Call yourself a writer when you want to.
3. Don't just write. Learn copywriting.
4. Separate writing and editing.
5. Your first draft is like a brain dump, it will suck. Don't stop moving your fingers.
6. Write first, research later.
7. Write every single day in the morning.
8. Read fiction and poetry.
9. Create writing rituals.
10. Write more than you consume.
11. Use Scrivener.
12. Take building your Twitter following seriously.
13. Write with others in a writing group.
14. Break (your own) rules.
15. Write like you talk.
16. Set public deadlines for accountability.
17. Take a lot of notes as you go about your day.
18. Write in Pomodoros of 25 minutes.
19. Ignore everyone. Focus on yourself.
20. Sit on a couch to write. It helps ideas flow.
(This is atomic essay #13, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
How to NEVER Fail at a 30 Day Challenge
I didn't post my daily essay yesterday.
I started writing, but then simply forgot to finish it as I was working really hard on the sales page for my upcoming course.
So technically, I did write. A ton actually. But I didn't publish it.
If there is one thing I have learned from doing many of these kinds of challenges, it's this:
It's ok to miss a day.
Don't beat yourself up.
You acknowledge the fall, you get back on the horse and you keep going.
There is just one rule I really try to keep when it comes to habits:
Don't miss two days in a row.
One is no big deal. But two makes it easier to also miss it a third time and a fourth and then boom, you've lost momentum and it's really hard to get back into it.
Embrace anti-perfectionism.
A missed day is no excuse to stop altogether.
Keep going, keep creating, keep shipping.
If you completely fall off the path, then check in with yourself honestly - a good idea is to journal or meditate on why your unconscious decided to quit prematurely.
In any case, make sure to be kind to yourself and not let your inner critic take over.
(This is atomic essay #12, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
For Creators Who Feel Like Their Work Isn’t Unique Enough
Many creators carry this belief around that we and our work have to be original.
We think that what we create has to be unique and different from what's already out there.
This is directly related to this belief, which keeps many people from even starting:
“There are already so many people doing what I want to do.”
We think we’re not special and creative enough to create something meaningful and worthwhile for the world.
And the truth is, yes, it’s kind of all been done before:
Nothing is truly original.
(Sorry to burst your bubble.)
Here is the good news though: Any "new" idea is actually just a combination of older ideas or slight variations of them.
What we perceive as original is really just a remix, a mashup of existing ideas.
Confident creators understand that nothing comes from nowhere. All creative work builds on what came before. Nothing is completely original.
There are many other creators writing about the same stuff as I do or making similar videos about what I'm passionate about.
For example, go on YouTube and search for "30 Day Meditation Challenge" or "Morning Routine" or "Minimalist Bullet Journal".
There are hundreds of them already out there, but I still decided to create my own versions. So what!
Or another example:
I started offering Breathwork sessions + coaching as part of my work - there are already so many breathworkers out there - but do you think that would keep me from sharing my passion and gift with the world? Hell no.
You matter. Who you are only exists once in this world, you are unique as you are. Your ideas matter. Your point of view matters. And if you don’t express it and work every day to share your unique gifts, the world has lost something truly irreplaceable.
In the beginning, your work might be similar to what already exists. That's cool and a good thing.
Most creators and artists don't start out having already discovered and shaped their voice. This takes time.
First we imitate and when we show up regularly, our work will organically morph into an extension of who we are, what makes us us, our individuality.
It’s in the act of making things and doing our work that we figure out who we are and that our work becomes unique.
Keep creating. Share your work.
Your uniqueness will emerge when you're not even watching.
(This is atomic essay #11, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
Chasing Your Dreams Won’t Make You Happy
We have this goal in mind and we think that once we achieve it will solve all our problems.
But as soon as you achieve that goal, you are looking for what is next.
How do you know your next goal will be more fulfilling than the last one?
We keep chasing and chasing goals, because there is always more to chase.
More followers, more money, a bigger launch.
The perfect lover. A bigger home. A fitter body.
What happens if you achieve every goal and every dream you ever had?
Then what?
Isn't that one of the reasons a lot of really rich people still aren't happy?
We keep living "If this happens, then I will be happy"-lives.
We keep working towards a better, ideal future.
I sometimes catch myself these days thinking of escaping the winter and covid. Thinking that once I'm in a warmer climate, where I can surf and go to restaurants and the gym again, then my life will be ok again and that I will feel better.
Chasing dreams and goals and living a If-Then life, means we aren’t here now - now, where life is actually happening. Now and now and now.
We plan and manifest and set goals and do vision boards, because we are in love with the idea of a better future and a better version of ourselves.
But now is really all we have at any moment in time. This is what counts.
Be here now. Make your today great.
(This is atomic essay #10, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
Life Advice for People In Their 20s
Unlearn. Identify our conditioning. Question your beliefs and habits.
Write. It helps you get to know yourself and clarify your thinking. Start a blog.
Experiment and try out a lot of things.
Grow your self-awareness. Journal. Meditate. Therapy. Listen to your self-talk.
Explore your distractions and patterns.
Learn to really feel, sit with + process emotions.
Learn to enjoy solitude without feeling lonely.
Don't believe everything you think. Thoughts are not real, just clouds passing through.
Explore your sexual orientation and gender identity without shame.
Read books to learn.
Learn how to develop habits that serve you.
Consume less, create more. Digital detox. Make art.
Take responsibility. Stop blaming external circumstances.
Build passive income to be financially free.
Learn about attachment theory, boundaries and non-violent communication.
Live in different places for at least 6 months. Don't use travel as a way to chase happiness.
Connect to + honor your body. Breathwork. Yoga.
Have fun. Play. Follow your joy. Make mistakes.
(This is atomic essay #9, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
What’s the Right Way to Breathe?
Here is the truth:
There is no one way to breathe - there are thousands.
The “right” way to breathe depends on the situation and on what you are doing:
When you’re running for a bus your breathing is going to be different than when you are sitting stationary.
When you are having sex or masturbating, your breathing is going to be different than when you are standing and cutting vegetables.
💨 That’s the beauty of our breath - it responds to the demands that are thrown at us.
❔The more important question to begin with is:
What’s your natural resting breath?
Let’s check -
Take a moment to just notice your breath right now - it helps to put one hand on your chest and one on your belly.
Then ask yourself these questions:
Are you breathing through your mouth or nose?
Are you breathing more into your chest or more into your ribcage and belly?
How fast or slow are you breathing?
How loud and noticeable is your breathing?
Do you sigh often?
Do you notice a natural pause after your exhalation? Do you hold your breath at times?
Does it feel easier to inhale or exhale?
🔅The 3 golden guidelines for proper breathing:
1. Always breathe through the nose
Unless your are doing heavy exercise - to prevent overbreathing, which leads to loss of co2 and less oxygenation of the blood.
2. Breathe into your belly
This stimulates your vagus nerve and sends calming message to your brain and nervous system.
3. Slow down your breathing
ccording to research, the “ideal” breathing rate is 5.5 breaths per minute, which is much lower than most people’s breathing rate (12-20 breaths per minute) - so keep practicing your coherence breathing and extending your exhales --> this trains your CO2 tolerance
In summary:
In general, the lighter and more silently you breathe, the healthier your breathing and nervous system.
“Proper breathing” means breathing through the nose, with the diaphragm, relaxed, rhythmically.
💡Tip:
Check in with your breathing regularly during the day.
Pause what you’re doing for a second, become present and see how your breath is doing. Then adjust accordingly.
Got questions?
Wanna improve your breathing?
I offer breath coaching. Drop me an email or schedule a free initial consultation call here.
(This is atomic essay #8, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
What’s Your Life Software?
We humans need stories to make sense of life and find meaning. We need a guide for survival and happiness.
Our minds cannot operate in a vacuum - the fate of having a consciousness?
Back in the days, we were indoctrinated with religious beliefs and stories, but today, we have a choice.
We can choose what software we want to install and run. We can choose what stories to believe in and base our lives on.
For one, our Western cultures allow for more liberties and independence in that way. Most of us don't get forced into adopting or staying with a religious club anymore - I cancelled my membership in the Catholic church when I was 26.
Also, the Internet and globalization made knowledge more widely available and so we have access to a wider variety of teachings. We can jump on a plane, fly to India and study with a Yogi guru. We can move to Thailand and live in a Buddhist monastery. We can hop over to Peru and sit with a shaman in a plant medicine ceremony. Alternatively, we can order a copy of the Tao Te Ching or the Bhagavad Gita or Meditations by Marcus Aurelius on Amazon and dive into self-study while sipping on some Chai tea.
If you look closely at modern Western personal development teachings, you can see that most of them originate from some ancient philosophy or another. Nothing is particularly new, it's just packaged differently and put in new verbal outfits to make it more accessible and seem like it's new.
Plus, many ancient practices like meditation and breathwork are going through a season of revival, with scientific research validating their effectiveness.
We still rely on wisdom that is Thousands of years old. As if there is a universal collective software that just works for our human hardware.
Think of dreams, symbols, archetypes and the collective unconscious. We carry knowledge in our psyche that seems to be rooted in the soul of humanity at large.
As for my infinitely curious mind, all this is good news.
I get to study and research and create my own world of stories.
I get to optimize and upgrade my software as I move through life.
(This is atomic essay #7, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
Emotional Bypassing: What Happens When You Suppress Your Emotions
We don't get away with not feeling our feelings and processing big emotional experiences.
I surely never did.
We seem to be the only species that has learned not to express and process our emotions fully.
Look at the animal world. Sound and movement is how animals dissipate emotions and energies.
Or look at children and babies, they still have a healthy emotional expression. They don’t ask for permission to burp or fart or be angry, they just do it.
But then conditioning happens and we are taught to keep in anger, sadness, fear..
Humans have developed a cultural consensus that expressing emotions through sound or movement is only something uncivilized, primal people, kids or animals do.
But our biology needs to express. We as humans have the same mammalian biology and nervous system response as animals for survival.
For emotion to express there has to be sound or movement, there has to be some sort of vibratory frequency - but so often we hold it in. So often we don’t make sounds because culturally making sounds is weird and we think we have to keep it together.
We have to complete our emotional cycle, because otherwise we buffer and store them in our bodies.
Which is what happens when we experience trauma - it is an experience that is too big and scary to process and feel. But trauma doesn't just happen on the psychological level - it happens on the physiological level just as much..
Suppression of emotions and old stored trauma keep living in the body, activating our stress response, triggering our fight/flight branch of the nervous system, chronically releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
All this causes elevated blood levels, anxiety, decreased immune function and nutrient absorption in the gut, indigestion, brain fog, and inflammation in the body. The list goes on.
Our culture hurts our biology.
We have created cages that keep our biology captive and sick and depressed.
We have to let out our emotions and we have to learn tools that help us regulate and balance our nervous system.
How to process and express your emotions:
Crying.
Shouting.
Moving.
Shaking.
Somatic psychotherapy.
Deep integrative breathwork sessions.
Somatic meditation.
Breathing practices.
Your mental health is really your emotional health, which is your physical health.
Feel to live.
Feel to stay healthy.
Feel to be creative.
Feel to fully experience life.
(This is atomic essay #6, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
Creative Confidence: A Mini-Guide
Many people think creativity and confidence are part of our DNA. Something we either have or don't have.
Others think you have to be extroverted to be truly confident as a creator.
Or that creators who seem confident don't struggle with insecurities. Like, ever.
The truth is: these are all myths.
Anyone can develop creative confidence.
I used to be a highly insecure teenager and too afraid to follow my dream to apply to photography and film school. I chose to study communication and media with a focus on journalism at university instead, but my profs didn't like my writing and I never made it above a C grade in my writing classes
After graduating, I started blogging and writing online, making videos on YouTube and sharing my photography on Instagram.
I have reached millions of people over the last 10 years, taught thousands to do the same and sold one of my most popular blogs in 2019.
I never considered myself creative or confident growing up. But here I am.
We can use the power of neuro-plasticity to transform who we are.
Here is how:
Do the outer work: Create or write every day. Become a prolific creator. Practice and ship daily.
Do the inner work: Explore the roots of your insecurities and lack of confidence - what stories do you tell yourself? What beliefs are part of your conditioning?
Limit how much you consume online to leave the toxic comparison trap. Read books instead.
Unleash your inner creator and share your medicine with the world. That's what you are here for.
(This is atomic essay #5, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
How to Prioritize What Matters To You
It's ironic that many of us lead lives packed with endless things to do and yet -often the things that truly matter to us fall short.
If you struggle to prioritize what's important to you, ask yourself these questions:
What actually matters to me? List out at least 5.
Why does it matter to me?
(Bonus: How much time do I do what matters to me VS what doesn't?)
Here are my answers:
Writing. To clarify my thoughts and share my ideas with the world, to connect with others.
Spending quality time with my partner. To feel connected, to enable our love and relationship to grow.
Exercise. To generate energy in my body, to reset and clear my mind, to stay healthy, to feel good in my body.
Breathwork and meditation. To regulate my nervous system, stay grounded and connected to my body, calm my mind.
Create and work on my business. To make a sustainable income doing what I love, to share my medicine and gifts with others.
I make sure to do what matters to me by making these things non-negotiables:
doing them in the mornings or scheduling them in my Google calendar.
creating boundaries and saying no to other things and opportunities.
I also make sure I regularly re-evaluate my life and environment. Am I living the life I want to live?
Here is what matters to me but is not getting enough attention and time right now (partly due to COVID):
Surfing.
Spending time with friends (online / offline).
Photography and Filmmaking.
Drawing.
→ Awareness helps me adjust accordingly.
(This is atomic essay #4, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
What Is Mindful Productivity?
After burning out a few times in my life as a creator and entrepreneur, I had to learn some important lessons and tools to make all this sustainable.
I love creating, working on my business, sharing my ideas, and helping people - it brings me a lot of meaning and fulfills me.
But this striving for more growth and to keep up with social media algorithms plus the disconnection from my body in the past led me to experience more pressure than was healthy for my mind and body.
As a creator, it's hard to draw the line between what's "living" and what's "creating and working".
It all sort of blends together, because it's all fun and games most times - which was my intention from the start back in 2011 - to not live a 9-5, where life and work is clearly separated. All this also came with its challenges.
I eventually realized that my capacity to create and help others is directly linked to my mental, emotional, and physical health. It is all one.
In order to not only stay healthy but wealthy in a holistic manner, I had to:
question conventional ideas of productivity and success.
apply mindfulness + awareness to all areas of life.
Enter mindful productivity.
In its simplest terms, I define it as the combination of mindfulness and productivity.
This means bringing a more present and conscious quality to creating and working while being closely tuned into my emotions, mental state and physical sensations - and taking actions to strengthen this connection, be more self-compassionate, and managing my nervous system responses.
Today, I experience more mental clarity, more flow, more energy. My body and mind are healthier and happier. I feel more connected to my purpose.
The lesson:
Question the status quo.
Work less, create more.
(This is atomic essay #3, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
Let’s Talk About: Productivity Porn
More, bigger, better: The creator and founder world is obsessed with productivity and growth.
How can I get more done? How can I create more content? Grow my social media following? Make more money?
We rationalize our behavior but what we are really chasing are certain emotions:
We want to feel good enough, validated, accepted, loved, seen and heard.
So we get addicted to ways we can improve output and get hooked on content that tells us how and apps that promise us more productivity + organization.
As we focus on the HOW, we tend to forget the WHY.
Why do I really want to be more productive? What is beneath it all? What do I really want?
I like to remind myself of this Stoic idea:
Memento Mori - remember, you must die.
Which ultimately then leads me to remind myself of how I want to make my life worth living.
How do I want to feel on my deathbed?
Is it by sitting in front of my laptop all day and get more done?
I’m pretty sure I won’t say that I wish I had spent more time staring at screens.
I’m pretty sure I will feel happiest about and most grateful for the times I spent with my loved ones, my partner, my friends and family.
I'm pretty sure I won't remember the days I produced more, but the times I had real experiences in real life, when I helped people, the days I surfed my heart out, and laughed really hard and had all my senses involved in living life.
Instead of asking yourself how to be more productive, maybe ask yourself:
How can I live more?
The answer of Type A creator personalities might be:
Work harder, but less.
Or: I love doing what I do!
Or: I work hard now to reap the benefits and sit back later.
But there is a middle path, a way we can create balance:
Mindful productivity.
Mindful creativity.
Mindful living.
More on this in tomorrow’s essay.
(This is atomic essay #2, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)
30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30
Writing has been one of the biggest loves throughout my life.
I started blogging and sharing my ideas online in 2011.
I have also written two books. A few short e-books. Hundreds of newsletters. Thousands of social media posts.
So what am I doing here, joining a daily writing challenge?
A. The Magic of Conscious Intentions + Commitments
I already write most days, but doing it as part of a group of committed writers gives this practice a new quality.
Holding myself accountable and utilizing the power of group accountability of the #Ship30for30 tribe is exciting for me.
Besides, even though I have done a lot of writing in my life, I don't consider myself a supergreat writer. It's just something I do and I know I can always improve my skills. #beginnersmind
B. I Want to Embody EXPANSION in 2021
The way we start a new day, a new week, a new month or - in this case - a new year sets the stage for what is to come. This month serves as a creative kickstart into the new year.
My word for 2021 is EXPANSION - so here I am, expanding myself as a writer.
It is my message to the universe/higher power: "Yo, I'm ready to go all in."
C. Being Part of a Creative Community of Doers + Makers
I love surrounding myself with inspiring and curious humans, who are passionate about writing and sharing ideas.
Especially during lockdown times, I am enjoying being part of several online communities of likeminded people.
Bonus Motivation:
The idea for a writer and creator community/course has been on my list for a long time. I like getting inspired by other similar projects like this one.
My Writing Commitment For The Next 30 Days:
Write for 25 minutes before noon using a Pomodoro timer
Publish what I wrote the same day on Twitter, Instagram and/or here on my blog.
PS: The challenge is called Ship30for30 and is run by Dickie Bush.
The Life-Changing Magic Of Breathwork: 12 Ways It Transformed My Life
I used to be an insatiable personal development and inner work junkie for many years.
Always searching for the next practice or modality to help me find peace and “fix myself”.
Then I discovered Breathwork.
(Or Breathwork found me?)
Even though I had been a Yogi for many years, playing and dancing with breathing techniques (Pranayama) for a long time, I only truly discovered the deeper transformational power of the breath in early 2018.
It took another while until I deeply committed to the practice as a path to healing when I was going through a tough breakup in 2019.
Since then, my life has shifted and transformed in infinite ways.
Here is how.
Breathwork is the next big movement that will be changing the world.
— conni biesalski 🐋 (@connibie) November 11, 2020
It's the new Yoga, the new meditation, the new therapist.
Plus: It's like taking plant medicine without the side effects.
I came home to my body
The breath is the bridge mind and body, but up until I started doing yoga in 2013, I didn’t even know I had a breath.
For most of my life, I was totally disconnected from my body because of developmental trauma and other painful experiences. When we don’t feel safe to feel our emotions, we disconnect from them, which also means we disconnect from our bodies. It’s an unconscious way to protect ourselves from pain and suffering.
Not being in my body made my mind highly active and it was hard for me to feel grounded in the world.
Through Breathwork I was able to re-connect to my body and I learned to feel safe in it again.
Today, I feel deeply connected and at home in body, I am more present in the moment and my day to day life. It has made me more calm and connected to my intuition. Arriving back in my body helped me to re-connect to my emotions and actually feel them, process them.
2. My mind knows how to slow down and find clarity
Every time I do a Breathwork session, I come out with a new sense of clarity in mind. It’s like the breath puts all my thoughts in order and suddenly I can see and feel clearly again without the overwhelm.
As I drop into the breath during a session, my mind takes a back seat, it learns to relax and become calm.
3. I overcame a painful breakup
I re-discovered breathwork as I was in the middle of experiencing profound heartbreak and going through a repetitive cycle of my own personal definition of emotional hell.
During this time I went to every breathwork circle I could find and also booked a few private sessions. All of this helped me immensely in processing the pain and all the difficult emotions I had to face. I was able to find comfort in my Breathwork practice and move through this phase with a lot more dignity and calm.
4. I found forgiveness and made peace with people - and life
Through Breathwork I have experienced the ‘meta bird’s eye view’ on my life and challenging situations, which allowed me to put things in perspective and thus find greater, more compassionate understanding for myself and others. It’s as though I get to connect the dots and find peace with experiences that didn’t make sense for a long time.
5. I became my own guru and healer
Every breathwork session shows me that I have infinite healing resources within and that I can trust to my inner guiding intelligence.
Since integrating the practice into my life, I don’t feel the need to search and seek for answers and healing outside of myself as much as I used to.
One of the best things about Breathwork is that it empowers us to be less dependent on outside sources. The breath is mine and costs nothing. It is my teacher, my guru, my healer and I carry it with me at all times. I now trust my self-healing powers more than ever.
6. I regularly receive amazing insights, epic creative ideas and answers to big questions
There is nothing quite like the last bit of a session where our system is integrating the experience, the mind is still and the body relaxed. That’s when, almost out of nowhere, unexpected information enters my mental space: new ideas for projects I’m working on or clear insights to complex issues in my life. Often times, I receive important messages to do something and reach out to someone. It’s as though intuition uses this space to speak right through to me.
7. I integrated and healed old trauma
Through breathwork, the body and psyche get to release stuck trauma energies and tension that we have carried for a long time. It’s like letting go of the left brain dominance in our life and taking a deep dive into the unchartered waters of your subconscious, where we hold old woundings and painful shadows.
My body has been able to go through a process of discharging: shaking, tremoring, sweating, shivering, crying, laughing, shouting, myofascial unwinding (the body moving by itself).
Emotions that I had never acknowledged were finally able to rise up to the surface, be felt and released. Muscular tension that has been holding the ‘frozen energy’ in place was finally able to relax and create a feeling of spaciousness inside my body.
I have released endless amounts of sadness and anger that was dormant but alive in me for so long.
Plus, my inner child and I have become great buddies
I have had some absolutely life-changing sessions in which I sat, healed and reparented my inner child. Those were some of the most impactful experiences that helped me integrate some old wounding in the most loving and beautiful way.
8. I now feel safe to process big emotions that I would otherwise deny and that would pull me into depression
I used to get easily overwhelmed with and consequently be afraid of feeling my emotions. This led to depression and anxiety as I wouldn’t discharge all this energy in my body.
Breathwork allows me to safely enter a space where all my emotions can come to the surface and expand their energies to complete the emotional stress cycle. They get the opportunity to be fully seen and felt without any distraction.
As my body breathes me, I have learned to trust its ability to process big emotions without getting stuck.
I now trust that I have to feel it to heal it and that the only way beyond the pain is through. I am confident that I will always reach the other side of sadness or anger.
9. I have made amazing friends
My breath has connected me to a worldwide network of other breathers and so many special humans have entered my life. I feel incredibly grateful for all the new meaningful friendships that have developed in the process. It is an honor to be connected with people who take responsibility for themselves and are willing to go deep with themselves and others.
10. I have learned a lot about our stress response and the nervous system, developmental trauma, somatic healing and the human psyche
The more I dove into Breathwork, the more I wanted to understand how the breath works. This then led me to explore psychology and Carl Jung, neuroscience and human physiology.
It’s been a fascinating journey of profound discoveries that opened up new fields of passion for me.
As I understand myself, I understand humanity. As I learn to heal myself, I learn how to help others heal themselves. This adventure has been incredibly eye-opening and I have found a new sense of purpose for my work and existence.
11. My life has a new calling
It didn’t take long until the practice called me in to share it with the world and I deeply love sharing it in all its simplicity.
I have a lot of ideas to help bring breathwork into more people’s lives and to empower them to heal themselves.
Lastly:
12. I met the love of my life and we are co-creating a conscious relationship
It took me many years of struggle and heartbreak to meet her. And then I did. My partner is also a breathwork practitioner and we both connected through our joint passion for the power of the breath.
We now breathe together and we use the breath to navigate challenging waters in our relationship.
If it wasn’t for Breathwork, we might have never met. The breath brought us together in the most beautiful way and for that I am incredibly grateful.
Today, my breath is my compass and Breathwork a way of living.
Beyond doing deep transformational sessions, I also have a strong daily morning breathing practice in place that is a full-on gamechanger.
Overall, diving into Breathwork has opened me up to explore the power of the breath in all its infinite ways. It’s been an amazing journey.
The gifts are numerous and continue to present themselves as I show up for the practice.
It doesn’t mean I don’t face challenges or that I don’t go through difficult emotions anymore. But Breathwork is my superpower that gives me the confidence and space of safety to deal with anything that presents itself.
Sometimes I still like to experiment with new practices + modalities (currently I’m playing with the Wim Hof method) and occasionally I go see my therapist, but I don’t do it from a place of wanting to “fix myself” anymore.
The breath taught me there is nothing wrong with me and thus, nothing to fix :)
I breathe to feel, to heal and to live life as consciously as possible.
Keep breathing.
Conni.
PS: If you feel called to experience breathwork, you can book a session with me here.